Wednesday, February 6, 2008


so grapes points to this blog.

it made me cry. not that i'm distressed about broken wildlife, but that someone is gentle with the pets we love when we have to make a decision that breaks our hearts.

i remember when my dad had our dog, s, put down. he was very ill. he had a tumour in his jaw. it was possible to operate, but the prognosis would still not be good, and the vet told us that s would likely have a lot of pain, even if he survived. so one day, i left for school (i had to take the train) and that night, my dad came to pick me up from the station. i knew why. i was angry that he had had s killed without speaking to me. s used to sleep every night on my bed. he had been part of our family since we moved back to the UK when i was two. my dad said he had turned downhill very quickly that morning and he had begun to suffer. he had brought s's collar, tag and lead with him; they were on the backseat. i realised that my dad was as broken up about it as i was.

a few years ago, mrs zen and i got a cat, o. it was a beautiful, spirited little thing. it was hit by a car and died in my arms, out on the pavement outside our house. i had to take her to the shelter, so that they could dispose of the body. i think that's the law here. in any case, i wasn't disposed to question whether it was, because i was renting and didn't want to bury her anyway.

i will never forget the drive to the shelter. our neighbour drove me for reasons i forget. we didn't say a word as he drove. when we got there, i handed her over and that was that.


Anonymous Paula Light said...

I'm sorry about your cat. I had one die in my arms too (liver cancer) on the way to the vet. You never forget that.

February 7, 2008 at 4:09 AM  
Anonymous ruth said...

I love cats too, and have lot too many to the road here where I live. I'm not getting anymore, it's just too hard.

February 8, 2008 at 5:01 PM  

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